How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If...
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Man: Fuck you, slut.
When people think of spring...
Normal people: People with allergies (like me):
Fool Me Once, Abercrombie
Don’t ask the bully to change by giving the bully a bully pulpit. Shut them up by really taking them down a peg. They don’t want their clothes on uncool kids? Good. Give them to the most socially unacceptable people like this filmmaker who is giving the clothes to homeless people. Find them in second hand shops and deface them and wear them around with holes and spray paint on them to your...
Newly Declassified Memo Shows CIA Shaped Zero Dark... →
wilwheaton: Kathryn Bigelow’s Osama bin Laden revenge-porn flick Zero Dark Thirty was the biggest publicity coup for the CIA this century outside of the actual killing of Osama bin Laden. But the extent to which the CIA shaped the film has remained unclear. Now, a memo obtained by Gawker shows that the CIA actively, and apparently successfully, pressured Mark Boal to remove scenes that made...
The Militant Baker: Things No One Will Tell Fat... →
downeygem: Anyone that reads, looks at, or comes upon this NEEDS TO READ IT! THIS!
Rocker Ted Nugent rips Pure Michigan ad campaign →
…rips the Pure Michigan campaign as being too liberal because it doesn’t mention hunting and trapping and such. Also…says “his home state is becoming “a suburb of Illinois and San Francisco” due to liberalism and political correctness.” Words for Ted Nugent: 1. You are a fool with no relevance to the world in 2013. 2. What would you like a Pure Michigan...
Women* Have A Voice: So I had my abortion this... →
whathewatergaveus: The procedure lasts all of five minutes, but I was really nervous and scared. They were all really nice though. The nurse held my hand and talked to me about my dogs and my husband while the procedure was happening. It just made me really thankful that I live in a place…
When I realize how much money we've spent on...
whatshouldwecallinfertility: Because infertility isn’t enough of an insult.
When I meet someone who enjoys working for a law...